Hey Truth Seeker!
In this post we will look at shame, the lies it tells, and how to defeat shame with 8 biblical truths.
Before I begin this post, I want to be absolutely clear that you can get healing from trauma-induced shame. There are many resources, whether it is counseling, or prayer, but that you should seek help in a well-informed manner for your own circumstance.
This blog intends to point you to God’s word, and to God, to be your primary source of help in your life.
I care about your growth in God, and your healing in Jesus, and when it comes to sensitive topics like shame, it’s important that I am transparent, and that you are ultimately responsible for your well-being. Jesus is the one you should commit yourself to.
I am no stranger to shame, and experience it time to time. However, I have learned to keep it short-lived, because shame is a liar. Shame tells lies about who I am inside, and is a tactic that Satan will often use to disempower God’s people.
There are many biblical truths that shine a light onto shame’s lies, and you can read a lot of these verses here.
However, I’d like to examine the prayers of David where I have found 8 biblical truths that conquer 8 lies of shame.
Let’s begin!
WHAT IS SHAME?
First, a brief overview of shame.
Shame is a tricky subject to talk about, because there are different levels to it, and I do not intend to cover every definition of shame. This is only an overview to help you begin your journey of healing, and I will attempt to keep it as simple as possible.
At its most basic core, when we feel shame it means that we somehow feel disgraced. We feel that who we are as a person is somehow damaged or broken, and if others found out, we would be seen as undesirable. To be honorable, or have dignity, is the opposite of being shameful.
This feeling of shame can happen when a person does something wrong, or if someone does something wrong to them, and it negatively affects their self-worth.
Shame is different from guilt, because the guilty says “I have done wrong” and the ashamed says “I am wrong”.
There is healing available for both kinds of ashamed people. The ones who have been damaged by others, and the ones who feel they have damaged themselves. One of the reasons why trauma and shame is so difficult to heal from is because shame is a liar. This post is going to expose some of those lies, and counter it with solid, biblical truths.
As we go through these, if you struggle with feelings of shame, do not be ashamed of that. A natural response to sin is shame, but it is not God’s heart for sin, or shame, to keep anyone trapped. Feeling shame about your shame is an extra layer that you don’t need, because many people feel just like you do, and God is interested in taking your shame away if you’ll give it to Him.
#1 – Shame’s Lie: “You can’t trust anyone with this secret.”
Satan will use shame to isolate you from others. The lie is that you can’t trust anyone with your brokenness, and you need to keep it a secret from others. This is a major obstacle to getting real help.
#1 – The Truth is: You can trust in God
David prays to God, and lifts his soul to Him. He knows he can trust in the LORD, and in the end it is enemies of God who will be put to shame. Others may win individual battles, but it is only God who wins the whole war. He’s the winning team, and we can be a part of that team. Defeating shame begins with trusting God.
#2 – Shame’s Lie: “You’ll never know a different life.”
In this lie, not only does it try to isolate you, but shame tells you that you’re stuck. There’s no other way to what it is you’re feeling right now. It’s a lie that keeps you from seeking help, because you don’t believe that you can find help.
#2 – The Truth is: You can learn God’s way of life.
David was a man after God’s heart, the bible says, and we see hear he wants to know God’s ways. “Make me to know your ways.” Defeating shame means to be able to see clearly, and we must be led into God’s truth. He is our salvation from the trap of shame. Wait on the LORD.
#3 – Shame’s Lie: “Forget mercy! Remember your sins.”
Shame lies and says there is no forgiveness and mercy. “The broken don’t deserve gentleness.” Then it tells you to remember all of your sins, remember all that happened to you. It’s a wicked lie.
We know that our imagination is powerful. Most people can imagine squeezing a very juicy, very sour lemon into their mouth, and already their mouth is watering. We can experience what we think about, and shame wants us to re-experience these events in our minds.
#3 – The Truth is: “God is merciful. He can forget sins!”
In David’s prayer, we see God’s character is mercy and loving-kindness. When the bible says “from of old” this refers to God’s unchanging character. The truth is we can trust Him with our pains, because He wants to be Himself. Merciful and loving!
When we confess to Him, and put our shame and pains in His hands, He chooses to never remember them. According to His good character, He will never throw it in your face, and will not bring it to His memory ever again.
#4 – Shame’s Lie: “The only path ahead is misery.”
This one is similar to #2’s lie, but it’s more specifically focusing you on the pain you feel now. Shame lies and says it will always be this way, and it’s the only path for you.
#4 – The Truth is: God’s path is His steadfast love and faithfulness.
Sinners are imperfect people, and the LORD wants to instruct us in His perfect ways.
The requirement is to be humble, and we will find ourselves on the path of God’s faithfulness, and God’s steadfast love.
#5 – Shame’s Lie: “You’re too sinful to be forgiven.”
This is a lie I have seen many people easily believe. Sometimes, I hear people say “I’ve done too much wrong” or ” God won’t forgive me”.
It’s a lie that you only look inwardly, and never at God, or the situation. The lie that keeps you looking at your feet, and not seeing anything clearly.
#5 – The Truth is: There is no sin too great for God to forgive. It’s for His own name’s sake.
Again, and again, throughout the bible, it talks about the name of God. It is by His name and character we are forgiven. Because of His mercy, and his love, that He does it.
The lie that says you are too sinful to be forgiven says that your sin is bigger than God’s character.
As you can say, this lie shrinks God, but the truth David prayed magnifies God.
#6 – Shame’s Lie: “There is no hope.”
Shame has no desire for healing and wants to stay broken. Hope lifts this weight, but shame lies and says there is no hope.
This lie means to drag you down, and to crush you.
It’s a false weight, and it’s not real, but the pain of hopelessness is very real.
#6 – The Truth is: Those who fear God have an incredible future.
The bible teaches that hope is something you absolutely know will come to pass, but you haven’t seen it happen, yet.
God says in His word time and time again, that if you fear, and respect, Him that means you will obey Him. You will be counted as His people by faith in the hope of His coming.
Jesus is coming back one day, and we don’t know when. It could be in a few moments, or in 1,000 years. When He does, He will set up His kingdom here on earth, and we who fear Him will be a part of it.
That is a glorious hope, if you ask me. There is a future for us.
#7 – Shame’s Lie: “There is no comfort.”
If you haven’t noticed by now, you can see actually that many of shame’s lies are similar lies, but just old lies that are repackaged. Shame would have you believe that you cannot ever receive comfort from this pain.
#7 – The Truth is: God is my comfort.
The truth is we always have comfort just a prayer away. David is praying that God would turn to him and be gracious. David is going through something hurtful, and he knows he can always turn to God, and as David said in the previous verse, have friendship with the LORD.
#8 – Shame’s Lie: “Hide! There is no safety!”
Shame’s most vicious lie is to isolate you from others. It says that others will find out your shameful secret, and you’ll be exposed.
Shame lies and says you are ruined, and that others will hurt you more if it’s exposed. It says you must hide at all costs, and never tell a soul.
Many people take refuge in being social butterflies. They think the more they talk, and share, the less chance people will find out about them. “Hiding in plain sight” so to speak. It’s a form of isolation we don’t speak of much, and many people who do this feel lonely in a crowd.
Others isolate themselves physically, and perhaps even turn to drugs and alcohol. I personally would consume alcohol, because I wanted to disappear. I wanted to stop existing. This was simply shame lying to me, telling me to hide, and that there’s no other way.
#8 – The Truth is: God is my refuge.
Oh but what a glorious truth that God can be your refuge.
God is a shelter that you can isolate yourself into, and He will build correct relationships with others. He will even give you an outlet for your shame to be confessed, and even healed or treated by people who have experience with shame and trauma.
Wait on the LORD. Let Him guard your soul, and deliver you, from the dangers of this life.
Conclusion
In this post I have shined a light that will help you defeat shame. Satan will use these lies against you to devalue you, but God will always be there to help anyone who will humble themselves and learn from Him.
If shame has tricked you into its lies do not be embarrassed. Each of these lies are easily defeated by God’s goodness and His mercy, but if you do not bring your shame to God, then all of the lies cannot be vanquished.
Jesus is the answer, and if you want to experience the new life that He brings, then click here, and see what God does.
I pray that this post brings peace and joy to anyone who follows its message.
God bless you,
Ken
